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Email Signatures

Over the years I've seen a few amusing sigs. Here are a few I've collected.

129: Predicting the future is always tricky, especially in advance. -- Steven D'Aprano
128: If God had intended for email to be written in HTML, then the traditional signoff of prayers would be </amen> -- Tom Liston
127: A smoking section in a restaurant is like a peeing section in a swimming pool. --Sheldon Brown
126: No .sig for you! NEXT!
125: Every cloud has a silver lining (except for the mushroom shaped ones, which have a lining of Iridium & Strontium 90) -- Sean Dwyer
124: My other computer is your Windows box. -- Shot (Piotr Szotkowski)
123: I've got an inferiority complex, but it's not very good. -- Shot (Piotr Szotkowski)
122: Sendmail administration is not black magic. There are legitimate technical reasons why it requires the sacrifice of a live chicken.
121: "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." -- Ambrose Bierce
120: There are two rules for success: 1. Never tell everything you know. -- Tobias Toedter
119: A Microsoft Certified System Engineer is to information technology as a McDonalds Certified Food Specialist is to the culinary arts -- Michael Bacarella
118: It would be helpful if people wouldn't make sweeping generalizations all the time. -- Josip Rodin
117: Hi! I'm a .signature virus. Copy me into your ~/.signature to help me spread!
116: find / -user your -name base -print | xargs chown us:us
115: Let's call it an accidental feature. -- Larry Wall
114: Sendmail is like emacs: A nice operating system, but missing an editor and a MTA
113: 90% of statistics are made up on the spot.
112: Contentsofsignaturemaysettleduringshipping. -- Mike Beattie
111: Differences are good. If two people agree, one of them is redundant -- Brian White
110: This message was brought to you by the numbers 0 and 1.
109: A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems.
108: Instead try to realize, that there is no sig.
107: Long noun chains don't automatically imply security. -- Bruce Schneier
106: C:\DOS. C:\DOS RUN. RUN DOS RUN
105: If Windows is the answer, it must have been a stupid question. -- Filip Van Raemdonck
104: Infinite loop: see 'Loop, infinite'. Loop, infinite: see 'Infinite loop'. -- Luca De Vitis
103: Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups -- Mike Beattie
102: "In the beginning was the word, and the word was content-type: text/plain" - Martin Schulze
101: That which does not kill me makes me stronger. That which does kill me I'll deal with when I respawn.
100: It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept. -- Bill Watterson
99: Anyone who quotes me in their sig is an idiot -- Rusty Russell
98: Time is just nature's way of stopping everything happening at once.
97: They all laughed when I said I wanted to build a joke-telling machine. Well, I showed them! Nobody's laughing *now*!
96: Michael Jackson is a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich white woman.
95: Life is complex. It consists of real and imaginary parts.
94: Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
93: scp $FAV_RESTAURANT:$FAV_FOOD /dev/stomach
92: I haven't lost my mind, I know exactly where I left it.
91: Microsoft is to operating systems & security .... .... what McDonalds is to gourmet cooking.
90: A mouse is a device used to point at the xterm you want to type in.
89: When an engineer says that something can't be done, it's a code phrase that means it's not fun to do.
88: If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
87: "Emacs is a nice OS, but to compete with Linux or Windows it needs a better text editor" -- Alexander Duscheleit
86: You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely
85: If it's not broken, let's fix it till it is.
84: Nothing screams poor workmanship more than wrinkles in the duct tape
83: A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.
82: If you play the Windows2000 CD backwards, you get a satanic message. If you play it forwards, it installs Windows2000!
81: I used to have a sig, but it took up too much space so I got rid of it!
80: I am root. If you see me laughing, you better have a backup!
79: Somewhere, there is a .sig so funny that reading it will cause an aneurism. This is not that .sig.
78: There are only 10 types of people in this world... those who understand binary, and those who don't.
77: Microsoft - "Where do you want to go today?" Translation - "Let us take you for a ride."
76: Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
75: Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
74: I've already told you more than I know.
73: To understand recursion, we must first understand recursion
72: checkuary, n: The thirteenth month of the year. Begins New Year's Day and ends when a person stops absentmindedly writing the old year on his checks.
71: The following is only a sig. The preceding is only a disclaimer.
70: Be incomprehensible. If they can't understand you, they can't disagree with you.
69: Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
68: People replying to my sig annoy me. That's why I change it all the time.
67: "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." --Thomas Edison
66: Sigmentation fault. Comment dumped.
65: This is not a sig. I am too lazy to steal one, perhaps you could loan me yours?
64: I lost my .sig in the ashtray...
63: No trees were destroyed in the sending of this message, however, a significant number of electrons were terribly inconveniencd.
62: [dpkg] We are the apt. Resistance is futile. You will be packaged.
61: A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
60: If at first you don't succeed, give up skydiving
59: When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
58: Getting rid of all the bad in the world, one lawyer at a time...
57: All things are possible, except skiing thru a revolving door.
56: Enjoy your job, make lots of money, work within the law. Choose any two.
55: "In theory, there's no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is." - Flash Gordon, M.D.
54: Lead me not into temptation, for I can find it myself
53: Sig Removed Due To Utter Lameness
52: The problem with making computers complete idiots can use is you have complete idiots using computers.
51: All social problems have a technical solution. That solution may or may not be socially acceptable.
50: "easy as 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884"
49: I had a sig, but it didn't want to be seen with me, so I chain it to every post now
48: "No, my ears really are burning. I lit a q-tip to see what's inside." --Homer Simpson
47: The above was written as part of an attempt to waste time
46: "A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
45: I'd have a really cool .sig, but right now I can't even remember my own damn name.
44: Get back to me when my brain starts working.
43: I have nothing interesting to say in my sig. Man...
42: This sig temporarily on hiatus for retooling.
41: This is not a sig. It may look like a sig, but trust me, it's not.
40: Kaa's Law: In any sufficiently large group of people most are idiots.
39: "In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart." - Anne Frank
38: This is not a signature.
37: graduation. sleep. life. pick any two.
36: To decode this comment into a readable form, rot13 it twice.
35: Yeah, Windows is great... I used it to download Linux.
34: Using the internet as it was originally intended... for the further research of pipebombs.
33: "Begin at the beginning", the King said gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
32: Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur. Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.
31: Brackets contain world's first nanosig, highly magnified:[.]
30: A fool and his money are soon venture capital.
29: load "linux",8,1
28: The most stable NT box is the one that is powered down and filled with concrete.
27: Only 10% are Mac users. But remember, we're the top 10%
26: I used to have a tasty sig. But I ate it.
25: DTA - Death To Acronyms
24: [Connection closed by foreign host]
23: C:\WINNT\SYSTEM32>tracert life.liberty.pursuit-of-happiness
22: Me fail English? That's unpossible!
21: I'm in search of myself. If you found me before I arrive, please have me wait.
20: And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail
19: The more you know, the less you understand.
18: Coming soon: A Life!
17: --- My Karma is bigger than your...
------ This sentence no verb
------ Ths sntnc n vwl
16: Microsoft may not be the / of all evil but it is not for lack of trying
15: "buckle your seatbelt, dorothy - kansas is going bye-bye."
14: This is just a test........ if this was an actual sig, you would have been mildly amused..........
13: This one goes to eleven
12: If ignorance is bliss, wipe the smile off my face
11: I have a shotgun, a shovel and 30 acres behind the barn. Do not trifle with me.
10: I'll get a cell phone when they prise it into my cold, dead fingers.
9: NO CARRIER
8: This post uses only 100% recycled electrons.
7: If you want to complain about frivolous lawsuits, remember, lawyers don't sue people, plaintifs sue people.
6: (Disclaimer: This is a joke. If you have a serious response to this post, please seek professional help. And don't drink so much coffee.)
5: If it was said on slashdot, it MUST be true!
4: "The only thing worse than being talked about - is not being talked about!" - Oscar Wilde.
3: What's your damage, Heather?
2: "Dancing is the vertical expression of a horizontal desire" --Robert Frost
1: Microsoft: What do you want to reinstall today?